funeral etiquette

oompaloompa · #1 10-10-2011

got a relative that is close to death all the time, but never quite makes it......I have no option but to go to funeral.

what do you do if you are just about to go on holiday that is VERY expensive and far away or you are already there and you get the call..?

anyone been through the etiquette of brooching the question of delaying it?

rsot · #2 10-10-2011

You would have to explain that while you feel truly sorry for what has happened and wish the family all the best to get through the hard times i.e. your condolences, due to pre-planned circumstances you are unable to attend. If you were very close to the family then you might be obliged to go but I can't discern that from what you have typed oompa.

I would send a very polite card and take it from there.

GreenBean · #3 10-10-2011

Posted with feeling by rsot.

I concur.

oompaloompa · #4 10-10-2011

cannot get out of actually going, no way, ever, so card not going to wash.....

want to know way of getting them to arrange it for when it suits moi...(given that the world revolves around me)

rsot · #5 10-10-2011

Well Princess Oompa - that's really for you to speak to them about - tell them straight up when the funeral arrangements should be made and why then.

jbluntz · #6 10-10-2011

Maybe they can setup a mini funeral later for anyone that couldn't make it to the main one, like a little gathering around the grave site with flowers, it's not like they're going anywhere the grave should still be there shouldn't it?

rsot · #7 10-10-2011

Teleconference funeral.

jbluntz · #8 10-10-2011

There you go, you can have them set a laptop next to the casket and Oompa can be on the webcam so everyone can see Oompa's mourning face through the funeral.

oompaloompa · #9 10-10-2011

yeah mourning with a cocktail and sombrero......

oompaloompa · #10 10-10-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by rsot

Teleconference funeral.

what the?...I TOLD you I gotta be there, or it hits the fan.......

you guys are NOT helpful..

GTB · #11 10-10-2011

ask the fam if they can postpone the funeral so you can carry on with your splendid holiday

if not, you must go if you must go......

GrannyT · #12 10-10-2011

Sorry to hear about your relative Oompah - nothing else to offer I'm afraid

rsot · #13 10-10-2011

GTran with nothing else to offer?

THIS is a forum first =P

Seriously though, Oompa if you have to be there - force them to reschedule with kindness. Explain you need to be there but can't due to preplanned expenses, etc. - you can be creative - I know you're good at that =)

oompaloompa · #14 10-11-2011

GT nothing has happened to said relative.....just always threathening to pop off and given I go away 3 times a year, its on my mind...

GreenBean · #15 10-11-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by oompaloompa

GT nothing has happened to said relative.....just always threathening to pop off and given I go away 3 times a year, its on my mind...

If they have not departed this mortal soil yet, let ALL know now that your attendence at the funeral will depend on YOUR availability.

If you are out of the country, internment can be delayed accordingly.

Get the requests in B4 the event.

AND besides, dont give us a hard time if you aint got the bottle to stand up to your family....

oompaloompa · #16 10-11-2011

^^ you couldnt tell I was joking about you guys not being helpful??? ( well you arent thats true, but still a joke).....

suppose there is no answer to this problem..actually what I was wanting was if someone had experienced it, or whatever.....

GrannyT · #17 10-11-2011

Hope you sort it - I have something similar going on with my mum - everytime she goes in to hospital we think that's it and then she comes home again - 82 and tough as a paratrooper!!

rsot · #18 10-11-2011

Well Oompa...if you want him/her/it to disappear for sure, I am sure you can "ship" out a crafty parcel....

...laced cake or something =P

oompaloompa · #19 10-11-2011

this one is way older than 82, nearly 100!!

oompaloompa · #20 10-11-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrannyT

Hope you sort it - I have something similar going on with my mum - everytime she goes in to hospital we think that's it and then she comes home again - 82 and tough as a paratrooper!!

oh GT I dont mean to be insensitive, this is NOT about my mum, for my mum I would do anything and would be v v sad and not thinking about hols etc.....

First Edition · #21 10-11-2011

I was absent from everything for a few months this year, and I had a family member pass away. Everyone was quite understanding and never even brought it up that I wasn't there. The funeral is about the person who died, and remembering how they lived... not about you.

I wouldn't sweat it.