 Twas the Night Before Christmas
On The Night Before Christmas...
`Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the house
(The three-bedroom, 2 1/2-bath colonial with deck and finished room in the basement had been for sale for eighteen months and even though the price had been reduced three times, it hadn`t drawn a single offer.)
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
(The mouse was too weak to move. There are few breadcrumbs on the floor of a home where the breadwinner is unemployed.)
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
(The fireplace was supposed to add to the value of the house, but it hadn`t made any difference to the bankers who controlled home equity loans.)
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
(They had been warned their parents couldn`t afford the usual spread of Christmas presents this year. So they were counting heavily on Santa.)
While visions of sugar-plums danced through their heads.
(Sugar-plums were an unaffordable luxury this year, even though the stores had cut prices in hopes of attracting scarce buyers and to hype holiday selling.)
And mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter`s nap.
(He was an eBay Sellers-Rights Advocate who had been out of work for 18 months, when eBay eliminated the position. She lost her job as a sales manager in a retail chain merger last summer. Both had been told they will probably be out of work until the whole economy makes a substantial turnaround. Both were so discouraged with job hunting they were spending a lot of time sleeping.)
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
(At least the snow covered the crabgrass, which had gotten out of control last summer because they could no longer afford weed-killer.)
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
(Reindeer provide cheaper transportation than modern alternatives like a helicopter or snowmobile. Even so, like General Motors and IBM, Santa Claus had been forced to downsize his operation this year.)
With a little old driver, so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
(Actually, he had been a personnel director with an airline who lost his job when the company went bankrupt. He had taken the temporary Christmas job as Santa because he couldn`t find anything else.)
So, up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With a sleigh full of toys-and St. Nicholas too.
(The toys all came from the off-price mall north of town. The North Pole had to shut down its manufacturing operations because it couldn`t comply with federal affirmative action goals, the shop wasn`t accessible to the handicapped and it could no longer afford the premiums on the health insurance demanded by the elves` union.)
And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
(The house needed a new roof. But like other repairs, it`s had to be postponed for lack of money. If business doesn`t pick up by January, the local roofing contractor will have to file for bankruptcy.)
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot,
(It was really ⊗⊗⊗⊗ fur made of an acrylic-polyester blend. Even though Santa is a Eurocentric symbol of Christian religious heritage, he was trying to be as politically and environmentally correct as possible. Besides, it was all he could afford.)
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
(The Clauses have no money for dry-cleaning this year and despite what it says on the care label, Mrs. Claus was reluctant to wash the outfit lest the red fade into the white trim.)
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
(He could have avoided some back strain by using express mail for some of the packages, but his tight budget wouldn`t cover it.)
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
He was chubby and plump-a right jolly old elf-
(The Clauses were filling up on starchy food, to stretch their food budget.)
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
(He`d been in charge of personnel productivity in this previous job, believed in setting a workaholic example and always discouraged socializing when there was work to be done.)
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
(Most of what Santa put in the stockings were traditional, non-electric toys. Parents from all over had been writing Santa for months, begging him not to bring anything that would add to the monthly electric bill.)
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
(At least he saved the family the cost of having the chimney professionally cleaned.)
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight:
``Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!``
(The true spirit of Christmas, after all, is not diminished by recession or dependent on material gifts, but can always be found abundantly in loving and believing hearts and minds.)
This was originally published in the Chicago Tribune on Decemeber 23rd, 1991. It was written by Joan Beck and has been slightly modified by me. The point is, don't let the current economy get you down... We have been through these things before and this recession is no different - things WILL get better!
Until then, be thankful for your friends and family, including your fur-children. Christmas truly doesn't come from a store.
And, if you are thinking about a pet as a gift, won't you please at least CONSIDER adoption? Not only will you be saving money, you will be giving the gift of life. And that is the most beautiful gift of all! Remember, there is no such thing as a second-class living creature.
Last edited by jeffweico; 11-20-2011 at 04:12 PM.
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