favourite joke - eBay Suspended & PayPal Limited Forums
eBay Suspension & PayPal Limited Forums  
Join Today
Register Subscribe
     

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!


Go Back   Home > General Discussions (Off-Topic) > Everything Else

Everything Else For off-topic conversation. The rules are relaxed in here, but play nice!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 03-10-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,644
Thanks: 204
Thanked 252 Times in 209 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 84%
iTrader: (1)
Default favourite joke

have you heard about the magic tractor ? it turned into a field

thats gotta be the coolest joke EVER
Reply With Quote
The complete step-by-step guide to get back to selling today!

  #2  
Old 03-10-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 4,729
Thanks: 442
Thanked 914 Times in 720 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 76%
iTrader: (1)
Default

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me."

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-10-2012
Senior Member
Threadstarter  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,644
Thanks: 204
Thanked 252 Times in 209 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 84%
iTrader: (1)
Default

ive actually laughed loudly at that, nice one
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-10-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 4,729
Thanks: 442
Thanked 914 Times in 720 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 76%
iTrader: (1)
Default

An old lady and an old man are sitting in their retirement home.

The man turns to the woman and says,"I bet you can't tell how old I am."

She says,"Okay."

She then unzips his fly, feels around for a while and finally says, "You're 83."

"That's amazing!" the man exclaims. "How did you know that?" he asks.

She replies, "You told me yesterday."
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-10-2012
Senior Member
Threadstarter  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,644
Thanks: 204
Thanked 252 Times in 209 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 84%
iTrader: (1)
Default

on a similar "vein"

A guy and a girl are sitting in a pub.

The man turns to the woman and says,"I bet i can tell you when you were born just by squeezing your breasts."

She says,"Okay."

He plays around for a while and the woman finally says, when was i born then

The guy said "yesterday"
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-10-2012
baloch's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 489
Thanks: 22
Thanked 193 Times in 60 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 73%
iTrader: (6)
Default

I went up to a girl yesterday to pick her up this is the conversation.

Me: Can I ask you a questions.
Girl: Sure
Me: If there are three girls sitting on a bench the first one is licking an icecream
The second one is bitting the icecream
The third one is gobbling the whole thing down
Which one is married.
Girl: I think the third one.
Me: The one wearing the ring but I like the way you think.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-10-2012
baloch's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 489
Thanks: 22
Thanked 193 Times in 60 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 73%
iTrader: (6)
Default

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner
with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to
her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had done before, so he takes
a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist
it is his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like
to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the
family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his
first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door. Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents,
come on in!


The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's
parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his
head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head
down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over
and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious.?"

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist."
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-12-2012
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 480
Thanks: 33
Thanked 38 Times in 33 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 73%
iTrader: (0)
Default

^That would be pretty embarrassing.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-13-2012
GreenBean's Avatar
Executive [VIP]
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 42,343
Thanks: 5,612
Thanked 9,142 Times in 7,106 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 96%
iTrader: (6)
Default

Q: How many lumberjacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but he uses a chainsaw.



Q: How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four--one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.

.
__________________
REAP WHAT YOU SOW. LIFE IS SO NOT FAIR.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-13-2012
rsot's Avatar
Executive [VIP]
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 76,088
Thanks: 5,945
Thanked 8,937 Times in 8,228 Posts
Activity: 100%
Longevity: 83%
iTrader: (7)
Default

Fun stuff going on here.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 03-14-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 196
Thanks: 2
Thanked 39 Times in 26 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 87%
iTrader: (3)
Default

I got nothing
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 03-14-2012
rsot's Avatar
Executive [VIP]
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 76,088
Thanks: 5,945
Thanked 8,937 Times in 8,228 Posts
Activity: 100%
Longevity: 83%
iTrader: (7)
Default

download3000 with the biggest joke of the day =)
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 03-14-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 4,729
Thanks: 442
Thanked 914 Times in 720 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 76%
iTrader: (1)
Default

A blonde girl is walking along a river bank just admiring the scenery

She comes across another blonde girl fishing on the opposite bank

She calls out "Hi there, how do I get to the other side of the river?"

The blonde girl who is fishing looks up the river and down the river and says

"You're already on the other side"
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 03-15-2012
Senior Member
Threadstarter  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,644
Thanks: 204
Thanked 252 Times in 209 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 84%
iTrader: (1)
Default

I said to my girlfriend "I've been cheating on you"

She said, "Really? Honestly? You rat."

"And furthermore," I said, "she says I am amazing in bed."

Dave," she said. "You idiot, you had me going there for a minute as well
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 03-23-2012
Sneakee's Avatar
Subscribed [VIP]
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 222
Thanks: 16
Thanked 14 Times in 12 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 70%
iTrader: (0)
Default

Some of these I don't get at all.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 03-23-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 4,729
Thanks: 442
Thanked 914 Times in 720 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 76%
iTrader: (1)
Default

It's called humour Sneakee
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 03-23-2012
GreenBean's Avatar
Executive [VIP]
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 42,343
Thanks: 5,612
Thanked 9,142 Times in 7,106 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 96%
iTrader: (6)
Default

GrannyT jokes.

Damn I hoped this thread had died....

Must find a joke
__________________
REAP WHAT YOU SOW. LIFE IS SO NOT FAIR.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 03-23-2012
Senior Member
Threadstarter  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,644
Thanks: 204
Thanked 252 Times in 209 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 84%
iTrader: (1)
Default

Sean Connery asked me, "Who is the Aston Villa goalkeeper?"

I said, "Shay Given."

He said, "Given."
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 03-23-2012
GreenBean's Avatar
Executive [VIP]
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 42,343
Thanks: 5,612
Thanked 9,142 Times in 7,106 Posts
Activity: 0%
Longevity: 96%
iTrader: (6)
Default



5
4
3
2
1

where's the padlock
__________________
REAP WHAT YOU SOW. LIFE IS SO NOT FAIR.
Reply With Quote
Reply




Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
favourite youtube oompaloompa Everything Else 242 06-23-2012 01:44 AM
So have we had a ..... Favourite music thread? Blackhorse Everything Else 21 08-26-2010 02:53 PM
Anyone here like the Sopranos?, who was your favourite character jscan Everything Else 15 06-22-2010 10:35 AM
New Egg Verification = Joke Burning Everything Else 1 06-17-2010 09:02 PM


Aspkin Group

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:14 AM.


Stop the guessing games and learn how you can quickly and easily get back on eBay today!
Read the best selling step-by-step eBay Suspension guide eBay Stealth!
Amazon Suspension? Read Amazon Ghost to get back on Amazon!
vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Ad Management by RedTyger
no new posts

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58