Family relationship dilemmas

[bruceuk]

I dont have any issues .. thanks ever so much .
I am good friends with my 2 previous mrs.
Things change
People change
And believe it or not sometimes there is no one to blame .
Ive been married to my current issue 22 years .
Yes it may end tommorow or maybe it wont.
But what i do know is if you run your life in a decent manner then if you are together or not it does not impact anyone to a degree where they need to seek expert advice.

[Roscoe]

Originally Posted by oompaloompa

I believe affairs are within the womans control.

Not true. As I stated before, under Normal circumstances that's true. However, most affairs happen post trama situation. Job loss, death in family, financial issues, depression, medical issues, parents dying etc... people fail to protect their most vulnerable weakness.

Most people (unless SA-Sexual Addict) do not intentionally cause an affair to happen.

I hold a particular dislike for women (single or otherwise) who go with married men.

The same goes for Men also.

Men are led more by their trouser area, women think more manipulatively and it may be that she wanted to get this affair guy for herself, but he did not want to or had ties and could not go off with her.

It's true, most men think with the wrong head. However, in todays society and all these dating/sexual hookup sites it's getting very close to women catching up with men.

A woman will have an affair if she is unhappy with the status quo in her relationship.

It's way more complicated than that.

I often see one-sided views of these things from one party or other and their family/friends you never see whole truth that way.

They are not married and it was in earlier stages, so I think it is recoverable but it will rear its head with reminders and distrust from now on...

Whether your married or not is irrelevant, affairs are affairs. It is no less devastating to his brother. It simply makes it easier to walk away in most cases.

Answers in Red.

[Roscoe]

Originally Posted by bruceuk

I dont have any issues .. thanks ever so much .
I am good friends with my 2 previous mrs.
Things change
People change
And believe it or not sometimes there is no one to blame .
Ive been married to my current issue 22 years .
Yes it may end tommorow or maybe it wont.
But what i do know is if you run your life in a decent manner then if you are together or not it does not impact anyone to a degree where they need to seek expert advice.

"I dont have any issues" <<< That's what my ex-wife said. We ALL have issues. It's how we deal with those issues internally that effects our relationships. No one is perfect.

Congratulations, you're one of the 17% who survived a 3rd marriage.

I guarantee your two ex-wives don't have the same opinion you have. My guess is that you took responsiblity for your actions and stopped the issues that were causing problems in the first 2 marriages.

Both sides are always guilty. Decent manner has absolutely nothing to do with affairs. That's a big myth. Read my above post as to why affairs happen.

Please don't take this personally. I can show you stat after stat that proves my point.

I've spent thousands of hours over the last 8 years studying affairs/marriage/relationships.

Here's hoping you and the Mrs stay married forever.

[oompaloompa]

people are just giving their opinions, you do not have to quote replies and then answer each point in RED with your correction....

[Roscoe]

Originally Posted by oompaloompa

people are just giving their opinions, you do not have to quote replies and then answer each point in RED with your correction....

As an authority in this field, I hate to see others be misinformed. Not trying to debate anyone.

How many peope really care to be an Authority on Affairs? It's not something I ever contemplated.

[bruceuk]

Ok lets wind this in ..
We re not talking any affair
We are talking about some girl with knicker elastic issues twice over 12 months ago.
No one died
OOmpa i got to agree sort of with your comments especially regarding them thinking diffenrently towards such matters.
Lets not all forget its a very young relationship .. they are not married and i suspect them pre 20s in age . forgive me if im wrong.
At these ages you dont know whats going on , or the way the world works .
All you think about is money and sex .
Lets stop turning this into something more than it is.

[Roscoe]

Originally Posted by bruceuk

Ok lets wind this in ..
We re not talking any affair
We are talking about some girl with knicker elastic issues twice over 12 months ago.
No one died
OOmpa i got to agree sort of with your comments especially regarding them thinking diffenrently towards such matters.
Lets not all forget its a very young relationship .. they are not married and i suspect them pre 20s in age . forgive me if im wrong.
At these ages you dont know whats going on , or the way the world works .
All you think about is money and sex .
Lets stop turning this into something more than it is.

That's what all cheaters say. You don't understand affairs, you are not trained in this field.

People die all the time from affairs. I can post a half dozen stories in the last 48 hours where people murdered because of an affair.

And yes, it is a young relationship. That's why it has to be addressed correctly before it's gets further along.

It's a lot bigger than you think it is. Billions and Billions of dollars are spent every year on relationship advice. Lawyers, doctors, marriage counselors make a fortune from affairs and relationship advice.

Bree Maresca-Kramer: Confession Of A Housewife

[bruceuk]

OK .
I give in .
Lets get it on the TV.

[Roscoe]

Originally Posted by bruceuk

OK .
I give in .
Lets get it on the TV.

It's on the tele already.

Cheaters | REAL Reality TV

[moneyhustler88]

Hahaha PMSL at some of the responses to this..as a young guy myself i'll input my feedback..

I agree with Roscoe pretty much..Why?
At the end of the day 'your head being a mess' and 'him flattering and pursuring and chasing you' isn't an excuse to cheat..and the same for you not thinking someone's 'longterm'..it all comes down to one thing..insecurity and being a cheat.
In my opinion I've always found that following my heart over head has been right..and once a woman cheats..she will cheat again. Those are lousy excuses and as the indian guy said on here i'd give her away with free p & p shipping lol.
Not worth the headache and not worth the heartache.
If a woman truly likes someone, even seeing them she wouldn't cheat or mess with anyone else. If she does then she's not true to her word..and like scarface says..all I have in this world is my word and my...well you know the rest lol..

[GreenBean]

One pertinent issue NOT addressed.

The OP is merely a party to the scenario.

Both sides of the story have not been presented.

Enough responses have been given.

Issue is between the brother and the girlfriend.

Neither are users on this forum.

Kudos to the Op for trying to help.

End of story.

Not necessarily the romance though.