Ive decided from past experince, to cancel the sale and give full refund - saying we didnt have the item in stock. Will butter him up as you put it. Confident with my items but not with these situations as ebay seem to take action without hearing both sides of the story and with little feedback for this type of item and history of sales i dont think they would even want to listen to me.
The worst feedback is that he can say they said they didnt have it in stock, to which my reply would agree and apologise.
thanks for your thoughts tho guys
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