Funniest messages you've had from buyers

[Juicyas]

I thought this thread could log all the funny messages we get from time to time. I've had heaps in the past but all deleted now. Just got this one today tho:

Hi again. I apologize for bought this item. I want this only once...but I bought 2. Can you cancel this bid? Sorry again, I'm newgay on ebay....apologize


Hope you can all add yours!

[oompaloompa]

my best one from Russia was;

are you ebay? I am problem, help need, I no account, pay how, can you me send (and on it went in same manner)

I replied - no I am not ebay, you have problem but only psychiatrist or language teacher can help you

[Juicyas]

Hi seller. I've been watching this item for a while. I like XXXXX, but I'm too scares and feared to commit myself for such a bid on just a XXXXX. Times are tough and I'm not trying to discourage you, but are you willing to part with them for a respectable price? I would like to offer you $23 total respectively =) Please let me know.

Kenny


Item + Shipping is $40 base price and I had one go up to $58 total the other day... some people!

[JohnnyBoy]

I always take that kind of stuff as an insult. Like if you have an item selling for 100 with best offer on and someone sends u an offer for 30 bucks. Not even worth hitting the decline button.

[bobrob]

Hey man, include a free gift, include something for free!!

[ebaykilla]

"I KNOW YOUR OLD IDs WERE XXXX, AND CCCC, AND DDDD, AND EEEE, AND TTTTT, AND RRRRR, AND WWWW, UUUUU, I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU TO EBAY!!!!" LMAO....pssst...please do...my bill for fees is about to come up and it is time for me to open a new account!

[ebaykilla]

or one of my favorites..."I AM GOING TO LEAVE YOU NEGATIVE FEEDBACK!!!!"....pssst...I really don't care about feedback. I sell just fine with or without negatives. You little bad mark is not going to stop me from making money. Besides, I like money more than I care about your feedback, so you are NOT getting a refund because you don't bother to read the description.

[Juicyas]

hi, u may have noticed that a who is under 30 days on ebay and
has 0 fb has placed some bids on your item, I personally do not accept bids from people
like this unless they give me contact details, because of this I would like
my bids removed, regards


Basically accusing me of shill bidding.. what a bitch! Also they have 16 feedback so how does she not accept these bids!

Eessh.. blocked them from bidding on anymore of my items.. not gonna get any at base price after getting out of that one

[wookster]

Paypal has informed me that you stated the Jersey was shipped and that you have shipping proof. Provide me with the delivery and tracking information now so that I can attempt to track this down on my own. If I do not get a response, the next step is the Better Business Bureau. This is just inexcusable!!

(MSG after being busted for trying to scam me) (I am sooo scared! Haha, loser)

[gurusgrafx]

Originally Posted by ebaykilla

"I KNOW YOUR OLD IDs WERE XXXX, AND CCCC, AND DDDD, AND EEEE, AND TTTTT, AND RRRRR, AND WWWW, UUUUU, I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU TO EBAY!!!!" LMAO....pssst...please do...my bill for fees is about to come up and it is time for me to open a new account!

LOL.. had that one a few times myself.

[hitch]

I have a current auction that has a current price of $244 , some guy sent me a message "Hey , can you do a BUY NOW shipping included? I'll pay ASAP"

-My message (I couldnt retain myself from being a prick) "Hello, first of all, why would I do a buy it now for less then the current price of the auction, secondly, why would I offer FREE shipping jackass? Happy bidding and good luck"

----
Last year I got a few threats from a guy who sent me a money order, he "sent it to the wrong address" prolly because he didnt have the money and never sent it the first time. Then when I finally got the money order (after several week) I filed a non paying bidder alert. This sent him through the roof, he called me throwing F-bombs left and right, emailed me stating he was gonna "get the law" after me just because i filed a non paying bidder alert. He told me he better get the part within 3 days and i better use next day air.. Well, i politely sent BACK his measly $60 money order with a big VOID written across is in red letters LOL and a a sticky not attatched with a smily face on it. HE GOT EVEN MORE PISSED! he threatend to come to my city and "hunt me down" lol a bunch of craziness man.. some people are looney, i told him his wife is prolly sleeping with another man and his bitch ass kids prolly hate him. haha

[lakeman]

Lol That is funny hitch!

[Lyda]

Originally Posted by hitch

I have a current auction that has a current price of $244 , some guy sent me a message "Hey , can you do a BUY NOW shipping included? I'll pay ASAP"

-My message (I couldnt retain myself from being a prick) "Hello, first of all, why would I do a buy it now for less then the current price of the auction, secondly, why would I offer FREE shipping jackass? Happy bidding and good luck"

----
Last year I got a few threats from a guy who sent me a money order, he "sent it to the wrong address" prolly because he didnt have the money and never sent it the first time. Then when I finally got the money order (after several week) I filed a non paying bidder alert. This sent him through the roof, he called me throwing F-bombs left and right, emailed me stating he was gonna "get the law" after me just because i filed a non paying bidder alert. He told me he better get the part within 3 days and i better use next day air.. Well, i politely sent BACK his measly $60 money order with a big VOID written across is in red letters LOL and a a sticky not attatched with a smily face on it. HE GOT EVEN MORE PISSED! he threatend to come to my city and "hunt me down" lol a bunch of craziness man.. some people are looney, i told him his wife is prolly sleeping with another man and his bitch ass kids prolly hate him. haha

I think this not classy! He paid you after all....I think there is always more to be accomplished with politeness.

[hitch]

Originally Posted by Lyda

I think this not classy! He paid you after all....I think there is always more to be accomplished with politeness.

100% Disagree.

1) he paid me weeks late. And 2) As soon as he paid he demanded the part. I'm not going to put up with that, I just won't do business with him. He's making threats to me before I even get the part. He didnt respond to any message until the NPB Alert. He got what he deserved.

The funny thing is, I was looking forward to seeing his NF.. I never got one though. Probably because he realized he was being the prick first.

Sometimes you have to have a back bone and not let people walk all over you. I'm all for customers first, had he not been acting stupid, everything would have been good.

[gurusgrafx]

I had a guy back when you could leave negs for buyers cause me all kinds of problems. he paid wanted tracking number right then. then the tracking number just showed I paid for the label as the post office here didn't scan it when I dropped it off. then for 3 days he was sending me messages cursing constantly so I decided to be a douche as I knew that neg was coming my way anyway. at the time I think the account I was using had just over 2000 feedback. but anyway long story short, he left feedback calling me an a**hole. So I left him a neg, then sent ebay a message about the profanity in my feedback. They removed it but left the neg I gave him.

I later sent him a nice email thinking him for being a dumba**

[oompaloompa]

I bought from ebay and the seller sent it to wrong address, (it transpired a few doors away from me)
she wrote to me as soon as she realised saying 'my husband is so stupid, he posted it to 46 instead of 42, sooo sorry, can you just ask your neighbour for it?'
It was in stealth name and I wasnt too pleased about asking for it, but neighbour kindly posted it thru my door anyway, without me asking.

I replied 'yes your husband is stupid, but maybe you couldnt do any better at the time'

the reply was a woman outraged and insulted - oh well, maybe I hit a raw nerve?

[Snagga]

Lmao, nicely put

[JohnnyBoy]

This has been a funny thread. I havent had any major buyer problems, other than on my backup account I sold a phone on. A guy with no feedback bought a $300 phone. His name was obiviously ⊗⊗⊗⊗, it had way too many r's and s's and z's. An hour after he received it, he sends me a curse ridden message saying the phone keypad was messed up. I reply and ask him to take a pic of the keypad. He sends back a pic so blurry I couldnt even tell if it was the same phone, so I ask for a better pic which i never got. He raises paypal dispute riddled with a bunch of bs, and amazingly paypal sides with him based on that pic that you couldnt see sh*t in. I called him out on the scam and he must of got scared and went away. Even though paypal sided with him, he never provided the return tracking so after the 10 days they released my money. I shoulda been nasty and sent him a email after the 10 days was up.

[NO ID]

Have you noticed that the people who ask questions almost never end up buying/winning.

I just hate when they ask questions like "does it come with everything?"

The answer is in the listing.
Please go back to my listing and read it over and you will see if it comes with everything!

You just got to know who to reply to and who to delete.

Its more funny than annoying.

[oompaloompa]

I tell you what helps, I put their effigies in my voodoo cabinet...

[SteveO]

Originally Posted by oompaloompa

I tell you what helps, I put their effigies in my voodoo cabinet...

LMAO