Withdrew the last ~500$ I will get from the account. Moving onto a new account today...Spread out small sales across many accounts, thats how to do it.
The complete step-by-step guide to get back to selling today!
Will continue to update this thread with info regarding the new account as well. My PayPals were COMPLETELY fine. Its eBay that has a stick up their rear end...I think I know how to fix that though and will test it out.