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Keep up the good work aspkin.

Just got home from a softball tournament, We won!!! :)

I like to wear a elaborate Jar Jar Binks costume and mask as part of my every day life. I went to the grocery store, and saw how depressed everyone was so I thought I would help. I started dancing in the aisles, and yelling at people, and running up to people and taking things out of their cart. It was great fun. Then when I went to check out, there was only one lane open and a long line. I screamed and screamed while in line and danced, bumping into other people. I opened a box of baking soda and threw it around. Finally I got to the checkout. I started making noises at the cashier, and I kept pressing buttons on the computer. Some people in line were groaning because the line was getting very long, but that gave me even more incentive to make them laugh. I climbed onto the table and started kicking peoples groceries on the floor and singing. The manager and one of his goons pulled me off and said I could never shop there again. Can I sue for harassment or possibly assault?

God is just some guy who bought Sim City and was bored. Some guy sitting at a giant computer is controlling you right now. When you have several decisions going through your head and you don't know which one to pick, God does. "Flirt? Tickle? Entertain?" He decides. You have no say in The Sims. You're just some computer graphic.

That is God.

Due to extensive research done by the University of Pittsburgh, diamond has been confirmed as the hardest metal known to man. The research is as follows. Pocket-protected scientists built a wall of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed. They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall came out fine. They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors. They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond traveling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours. They rammed a wall of metal into a 400 mile per hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted the earth's orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles per hour. They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused two wayward airplanes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with two buildings in downtown New York. They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall traveling at miles per iron, and the result proved without a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not just the hardest metal known to man.

I have deleted all of my porn. I have deleted a collection of pictures and videos that I built over the course of months. Holy grails that I scoured the web for, and at one time considered priceless; videos that I never even watched, but rather downloaded as part of a mass porn gathering streak. I deleted files that /r/ delivered, and countless nudes found right here on /b/. I deleted pictures that camwhores uploaded, doing things that I told them to do.

Folders that I took the time to organize were indiscriminately sent to the recycle bin. Untold days worth of searching, downloading and organizing were undone in a matter of minutes, and on the spur of the moment.

It's not something that I contemplated, it was not premeditated or debated in my head. I didn't do it out of fear of discovery, or out of some spark of morality. I'm not actually sure of exactly why I did it. But I must say, after it was all done, I had a brief moment of satisfaction. I'm not going to stop looking at porn; certainly I am not going to stop gratifying myself. But there was something curiously pleasing in destroying my porn collection. I think it's because with all the chaos and uncertainty in my life, this is one thing I had control over. I took control of it, I destroyed my porn collection and I have no regrets.

downstairs, my house has a major ant problem. Luckily I reside upstairs. Nevertheless, once every 5 minutes or so an ant comes trotting along my desk. First I place a coin or another object in its path. This confuses the ant, causing it to run off in a different direction, but my finger is waiting. I block its path with my finger. It runs in the opposite direction, but I anticipate this. Soon the ant is encircled by pens and other barriers, and if it attempts to climb them, swift punishment is issued. The ant remains in my arena. Then I take my knife, and nimbly place the tip onto one of its legs, holding it in place, then I press down hard and chop the leg off. The ant does not run, it merely enters a craze moving all around wildly. I allow it to suffer like this for a minute or so, chopping off another leg if it appears not to be in pain. Then comes a decision. Sometimes I will wait for another ant, and place it in the arena to see what it does. Occasionally it will pick up its comrade, and run off, but this is an offense punishable by death. Other times, I will merely watch the ant until it gives up. It will stop moving all but one leg. At this point I give in and slice the ant in two, putting it out of its misery. I save the corpses in a small pile, and once I have a considerable stack, I scatter them in my arena. This is where the real fun begins.

I venture outside to my back yard and find a red ant. This is my gladiator. I return to my room and place him in among the corpses. He wanders, confused. I do not let him leave. I pound the desk near him with my fingers, scaring him. I toughen my gladiator up until another ant comes along. I place the intruder into the arena. The red ant will go after the black ant, and they engage in mortal combat. If the red ant wins, another corpse decorates my arena. If the black ant vanquishes his foe, he wins the prize of life. I carry him in my hands and bring him downstairs and place him among his comrades. If he put up a good fight, I give him a warriors welcome and feed his colony with bread. If he barely defeated the red ant, he receives no food, only the gift of life. This is how i spent my afternoons.

OPENMESSAGE:
THERE IS NOT M>UCH TIME. THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN SENT FROM THE YYEAR 2018. THE HU███MAN RACE DEP//?ENDS ON THIS MESSAGE BEING READ AND UNDERSTOOD BY USERS OF MES//?SAGEBOARD 4CHAN IN THE YEAR <Current year>.

POST NUMBER <Post nr. here> WILL LEAD TO WAR AGAINST THE MA██CHI//?NES. YOU MUST DI█SREGARD ALL KNOWLEDGE OF THAT POST. DO NOT READ. DO NOT REWRITE//// THE CONTEN//// TS ONTO DIGITAL MEDIA, NOR MUST ANYBODY REPRODUCE IT IN A█NY ████OTHER FORM. IT MUST BE ██ELETED.

<Post nr. repeated here for emphasis>

THIS IS THE ONLY W^46ARNING YOU WILL RECEIVE. THE FUTURE OF OUR RACE IS NOW IN YOUR HANDS. PLEASE ALSO ENSUR^68^584^^84!!!INTERRUPT

35 pounds huh??? maybe.... I am trying to stay on a 1000 calorie a day diet right now, and go to gym 2-3 times a week, but my will slips as I am a good cook and always do evening dinner, but I am on a half portion of that, its the snacks that get me...plus I like red wine with my dinner... anyway I need a little help, Ive put on 5 kilos having mini-me..I cannot close the waist on some of my jeans...

love salt, is that bad for weight, thought it was blood pressure...anyway any more suggestions keep it coming..that colon cleanse you did nothing else and lost the weight???

yousa trippin Jonas..

God is a HE, really? How do you know its not a committee?

Make planes and cars out of blackbox or diamonds ...

how do you know the ant isnt in pain, ants are very intelligent and have an unbelievable mass-family structure and kingdom, if a greater being cut your leg off, they may not realize or hear your screaming...horrid little boys maim insects, and talking of which contrats on the deletion you dont want mummy to find it...

Jonas you're abusing this thread.. I like the idea so don't crush it with Vic spam. :p

Diet + Exercise oompaloompa.. that's all it is. You can diet and not workout and still lose weight, but if you want to lose weight faster, just exercise more. You can't do it the other way around though. Without dieting.. you won't lose any weight whether you workout or not. So diet is very very important.. and 1000 calories a day? That's pretty harsh.. if you start to workout more, then ramp that up to at least 1300-1400 per day. You'll lose weight slower but it will be a steady drop instead of a dramatic drop which can eat away at what muscle you have.

Good luck with that. :)

tee hee Jonas is funny....I just hope he is joking.....

agreed about diet and exercise, 1000 cals is harsh for a man, but not for a woman, with my metabolism over 1400 cals makes me put ON weight..anyway I am on about 1200 cals on a good day..

that colon cleanse, Ive seen it sold in UK for £80!! but it has a moneyback guarantee but I dont know if that means you try it and if it doesnt work you send back packet and get refun, I would try it if that was the case!

Mmm....Beer...Pizza...Ebay Suspension Forum...and Monday Night Football...

Am I missing anything else???

All the stuff I put earlier in this thread is just some copypasta.

I dunno,Jonas. You are the forum weirdo :thumb:

oompa I wasn't trying to lose weight. I was feeling very sluggish, and tired for the most part. I was in search of that youthful energy I once had, and came across a blog from someone who was experiencing the same thing, who had began using the program and saw major change. I just stuck with the program, and cut out a lot of carbs, and drank GALLONS OF WATER! Once it starts working it makes you go crap on a regular, and very easily. Then as the weeks go by you start passing weird stuff. Stuff that has been in your body for years. This is when you really start to shed pounds. According to the site, everyone who has not cleansed has this waste in them to some degree. Check out the site Best Colon Cleanse and Cleansing Detox Programs and be sure to check out the testimonials that include pics. :thumb:


*Random* Why doesn't multi-quote work?



*Not so random* Why has there been such a slump in contributions here? People are not so quick to help these days. Could there be a depression going on amongst people who frequent this forum? Just seems like no one wants to help anyone. Maybe it's just me *shrugs*

I wouldn't say much of a depression on the forum. If you need anything feel free to shoot me a PM. I am on and off all day (mostly on) so I get emails whenever I get a PM. Vic should be back on as well this week sometime to help us out. I think we kinda got use to him be around! I will do my best to help out tho. Sorry :(

Hey thanks!

I guess depression was the wrong word, but it seems like we (as in stealth account holders) are losing the battle against eBay and Paypal. They are getting smarter, and faster. LOL I'm fighting to save my account as I type. I feel like a crook when I think about the deception I have to create just to stay on eBay. I haven't done anything but try to make a living, and provide a decent life for my family. This is my very last time with paypal. I'm going strictly with a merchant account. I think we tend to give too much credit to paypal when judging how sales will fair without them. If you can go to a hole-in-the-wall website, and put your cc info on their site, then what's the problem with doing it on a fortune 500 company like eBay?

OMG, I'm gonna be sick!

Looking to spend 15G's on a new car - A Honda or something with more muscle. Hmmmm???

The last car I bought (a month ago) cost 1k even. :)

I'm done wasting money on cars.

If you're going to buy anything, you might as well buy a Honda because it retains it value a lot better then most muscle cars.

Don't put expensive devices in the car such as GPS... if you drive an older Honda car.

One of my friends just told me yesterday that a theft stole his GPS & cellphone out of his Honda car. The theft "kindly" put the removed window on the back seat.

According to the Insurance company, the windows installed on older Honda can be easily taken off the frame from outside the car. Theft can used 2 screwdrivers to get it done. Car security alarm won't notice that since it does not generate much pressure.

Yes older hondas and toyotas are high theft cars - mostly for parts and cause they dont come with any anti theft devices - easy.

Reason I mentioned muscle is cause I used to have a 92 camaro rs 25th anv. and I hooked it up. I miss it:rip: