imjustme, this exact situation happened to me about 1.5 years ago - I wanted to cancel after the guy reneged, I could not find the button so I contacted eb via live chat - in my case, the agent said only one option was available and when one was used, the other was not available....
So I asked but I have proof that I refunded - I want the transaction cancelled - the agent said sorry, anything else I can help you with. I was pissed off but I did not escalate higher up. Lazy on my part but I had other stuff to profit from then deal with CSR.
I hope you get farther along and get the fees back. All the best.
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