I feel like crying..

lightmaria · #1 03-01-2012

Okay so..In 2 hours I have an essay due. I'm 19 and I go to a university. I am not an academic person at all. I do not want to go to college at all..last year I skipped a semester without telling my parents and they started freaking out when I told them I was not going to college that semester. This essay is for an actual exam grade and I just finished writing one and I got one more left.

I've never been to this class once...in the 11 weeks of college I have yet to actually attend one class..I have no idea what's going on, I don't even know what my professor looks like. The essays seem gibberish, idk what to write I just bs'ed my way through my first essay.

I am so frustrated and conflicted right now. Frustrated because I have 2 hours to write this essay and conflicted because I want to do good..but I just don't wanna put in the work..because it doesn't interest me at all.

I have very few interests..I like reading..I love reading books (that interest me :D) ..I love selling stuff on ebay. I like finding different suppliers and testing out sells and making profit on ebay, but I don't make nearly enough money to quit school..or live off on my own which is another huge problem, I'm still much too new at stealth and multiple accounts; I'm still testing out my limits on what I can really do on ebay.

I hate my parents..yes hate..I really do. I work hard at learning stuff off these forums just so I can eventually make enough money to move out of this hellish life. That's all that drives me.

My ambition is to be like some of you guys who make 50-75k a month. I'm sure some of you are millionaires. idk, are you? I know it will take me a long time to get there..but ideally I was hoping I could make a steady 2k a month? Sometime within the next 6 months? That doesn't seem too far of a stretch. I know its going be hard work..and perseverance.

If only I had some assurance..some guidance..from you guys? Just someone tell me .."yeah ofcourse you can make a steady 2k a month in the near future, people do it all the time!" That's all I need to hear..if I could get that assurance..you can even lie to me and I'll believe you guys blindly idc.

I know I'm just ranting right now but I have a lot of emotions built up in me right now..they only concern me I know but I have no where else to turn to really. My real life friends don't give a shiit really..if it doesn't concern them why should they care right? I mean thats how teenagers are I guess =).

I've run out of words..finally. Basically this is what I want: I want to kill my parents and inherit all their money (but I would never do that), then I want to create an ebay empire at my own pace from this house as I live peacefully alone, and then I want to make a steady income of 6 figures or 7 yearly, I don't want ebay to be bothering me, then when I'm around 27 or 28 I wanna get married and then have a few kids. Ofcourse I don't want my wife working unless she wants to. I wanna settle down somewhere in..Seattle? Maybe Nova scotia..idk we'll decide..I love clouds so we'll see. Then I want to be able to travel the world..raise my kids the right way..eventually stop selling on ebay because I'll be so rich I won't have to. I don't want jets or mansions or anything; I just want to be well off..enough to be independent. Right now thats the main goal..to get independent!

Then..I want to grow old with my wife..the woman I will love with all my heart :D. Then we'll die. Hopefully, we die around the same time because I don't want one of us to be living without the other cause our love will be so deep that it will be intolerable haha .. I don't want to be tooooo old because I don't want to be a burden on anyone. Die at the age of 70? 75? Before I die I want to see a lot of gorgeous sunsets..me and my family.

..Well I wrote this in literally in 5 minuets..and I wrote soo much wtf..if only I could write my essays this fast..Oh well I'm just going to drop the class I guess..now I'm going to watch titanic and hopefully some tears pop. And hopefully I can muster up some sort of plan in my small brain.

FandangoKango · #2 03-01-2012

Well thats why we got 108 lives in the soul so we can take turns choosing what we do.

GreenBean · #3 03-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by lightmaria

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If only I had some assurance..some guidance..from you guys? Just someone tell me .."yeah ofcourse you can make a steady 2k a month in the near future, people do it all the time!" That's all I need to hear..if I could get that assurance..you can even lie to me and I'll believe you guys blindly idc.

I know I'm just ranting right now but I have a lot of emotions built up in me right now..they only concern me I know but I have no where else to turn to really.

It's a rant. But it's your rant and better to get it off your chest rather than brood. 19 is one heck of an age to be.

Kids are not sure if they should be kids or be the adults their parents (sometimes) demand they be.

Whe you were younger did you ever go to those amusement parks? Ever get up on those horrible slippery dip rides? Welcome to being 19. You are having the slippery dip ride at the moment.

The ride ends (Really it does). You look towards making plans that YOU want to nuture to their fulfilment.

Right now consider not doing that essay. Speak to your tutor/lecturer. Get an extension. Or sweat hard & write a poor essay. I got some shocking grades in a couple of subjects my sophmore year.(2nd year of a degree). Thanks to talking to my Dad I deferred the year.
My heart plain wanted to be elsewhere. NO shame in your feeling the same.

ebay success will not come overnight. pfft, wish it did. But you are gradually finding your way. The work you put into ebay will improve. Why? Because you like the concept of sellig. You can 'plan' to do well.

19 is the start of your life's road. Go with the turns & twists. I'm a tad older. I can truly say this. In a few years you'll look back & think 'Hell yeah it was worth it'.

Feel free to pm me too

lightmaria · #4 03-02-2012

Thanks greenbeen. =) That really cheered me up

bansheezone · #5 03-02-2012

You can do it! and I wont lie to you its not easy, nothing in life is but at the end the reward is great. So can you make money doing this, why yes most definitley but do not put all your eggs into one basket as they say, put time into your own site as well because as a eBay from early 2000 it gets harder and worse every year to sell on eBay so stay here awhile and read up

Thanks to Aspkin for this forum.

AyeDGAF · #6 03-02-2012

im almost in your same situation.. im 19 in school, i really hate studying, school has never been for me... and for ebay/amazon i am trying to get the best out of it and save money until i can buy my dream car audi or bmw lol..

LoopHole · #7 03-02-2012

Im 19 too. And i feel the exact same way. To be honest i only go to college is b/c i meet a lot of people there. By that i mean girls. Its pretty much the only reason i go to college. Oh yeah... and for my parents. And its my plan B. Eb*y is too big of a distraction to me. I find this to be what i want to do in life. Whenever i have essays to write i wait until the last hour to do it b/c i'd rather be listing or searching stuff on eb*y. And when i do get to write my essays i kid you not i google them. I've been doing this since 9th grade. And so far i have only been caught once. My teacher googled the paper and found it. Only b/c i wanted to brag about it to other students and she heard me.

I was 14 when i started with eb*y. Since then i swear to you i've cheated my way through school. I stole tests from teachers desks, i payed people to do my work. I even stole janitors keys to get into exam room to steal exams. The things ive done in my school career really and i mean really amaze me.

Eb*y has basically made me careless of school. The more i think about it the more i want to pull my hair out. I seriously cannot see myself as being successful in life if i do not make it into this business school that i've always wanted to get into. And so far with my grades i will NOT be getting into it. What makes it hard is that its one of the top business schools in the country. It's really impossible for me to get my sh*t together and do my best in school when i have eb*y.

To be COMPLETELY honest here. I seriously think that if i do not become successful on eb*y i will FAIL at life. No matter how hard i try i cannot do good in school. I'm starting to hate you for making this thread. B/c this is exactly what i think about EVERY SINGLE DAY 24 HOURS A DAY. And now you made me think about it even more. I seriously stress my self to death with this. I think i need this thread more than you........

bansheezone · #8 03-02-2012

just please dont rely on ebay to here forever for you, make sure to find other outlets or make your own sites I really cant stress how important it is.

LoopHole · #9 03-02-2012

^^^^ I am fully aware of that. But seriously i do not even want to think about that right now. Not sure how your life was at 19 but my life is seriously nothing but stress. And it doesn't help that i am the type of person who does nothing but think about stuff. I really do wish i could be a kid again.

MM78 · #10 03-02-2012

@lightmaria, Don't give up. I'm 34 yrs old and I'm 1 year from completing my Bachelors Degree. It's not easy with a family, trying to make money to survive.

I do have 1 good suggestion about studying and doing homework. If you have a spare room or a place where you can be totally free of noise, it will make it better for you to concentrate.

With my 4yr old daughter always wanting to talk to me and play with me it became hard to study but after having a place just for study it really made it easier for me.

Hang in there, don't give up.

bansheezone · #11 03-02-2012

I was about 20 in 2000 when I started ebay, it has been my living since. I am now 32 and life does not change with stress levels, I mean if anything it increases. I am also like you, think think think...Drugs also added to that but I dont play around anymore. I cant sleep because of my mind going on and on and on nothing you can do if your this way other then to occupy it lol.

unkown5454 · #12 03-02-2012

Do whatever you want with your life, but you need a backup plan. That's an education. You'll be grateful if you ever fall flat on your face. That education will separate from the neanderthals that plague this world.

oompaloompa · #13 03-02-2012

Things such as ebay are good for when you decide to take a break and have kids, you can do it full-time or part-time or you may want to go back part-time to your job. Stay on forum and learn, but prioritise your career right now. It is not about the money, the 2k or whatever, someone like you needs to work in the graduate field and see where it takes you as well....

GrannyT · #14 03-02-2012

Sigh - I wish I was 19

Good luck whatever you decide and what ever the outcome

Thankful · #15 03-02-2012

I know exactly what your thinking, i'm 22 myself and at university, i can totally relate. The only way i get through university and 3 hour lectures is because i know i'll aways have something to fall back on even if eBay ain't successful, i'll have to be successful elsewhere, and with eBay acting the way it is upon recent times it looks it's driving smaller people, this should definitely give you a drive in your heart - keep your doors (options) open and don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Passion over desire - Passion being education - desire being eBay , i'm not saying give up eBay but education should be number 1 priority out a hellish life for sure lol.

People would kill to have an education in the US & UK, never forget that, don't let your opportunity slip away, and for your parents i'm sure they have the best interest in you, you may not realise it now, i think with age you will realise this.

Good luck with whatever choices you choose to make.

GTB · #16 03-02-2012

nice rant btw

well done

lightmaria · #17 03-02-2012

Well thanks for all the encouragement guys really. I couldn't sleep much last night..I'm sure it was all the coffee and soda. I'm not the kind of person who lets my emotions disrupt my sleep, I usually fall asleep like a baby.

But anyways I got up around 1 and started reading the last edition of The Hunger Games (Mockingjay). But then I didn't wanna finish the book too fast cause I wanted to savor it slowly and soak it all in. So then I stopped reading the book and then I was just lying in my bed.

I started thinking about stuff..First of all I see college as the distraction and everything else as priority. With that being said I think I'm going to start acting that way. I know I might completely fail at ebay..but then I'll try something else. Because I know now that I don't want to be employed ever..I want to be self-employed or being the one doing the employing. If I can't go to college classes at the age of 19..how am I going to be able sit through 8, 9 office hours. I just don't see it happening. So I'm not saying I'm going to quit college but I'm not going to be stressed out about it all. Maybe take more easy online classes for now.

Also..I found out I needa stop being a pusssy like. I need to take risks .. time to man up. The more mistakes the better ..because I realized that I will have less things on my mind if I make mistakes my self and then learn from them. I need to invest all my money..dont worry its not much, on mobile dongles..more products..vccs more ebay accounts 2 isnt going to cut it. I need to make like 20. I'm moving too slow and I'm getting results wayy too slow. I need to be active much more active. I get something sold every 2 days because I have selling limits and I want to take it slow. But with more accounts maybe like 5 for starters I will actually be able to see more results. Make more experiment accounts ..test ebays tolerance. Become a complete master of the game and hopefully I'll be able to monetize this business some what.

^ That paragraph was me basically talking to myself I guess .. haha. Well thats just what I feel like I need to do. My brother in law has 2 master degrees in different fields and he's been unemployed for a year. I honestly don't think college means much..I mean I know it does, but I dont think I will be one to finish it or one to utilize it, more importantly its not what I want. =)

rsot · #18 03-02-2012

Whats your field of study in college - your major?

lightmaria · #19 03-02-2012

Business..Well I'm actually undeclared right now but I'm prolly gonna do business or teaching not sure.

rsot · #20 03-02-2012

Both of those have a lot of potential as backups. As others have stated, you always need backup plans.

sergfro · #21 03-02-2012

Life just gets harder....more bills, more responsibilities. Best thing to do is become an expert in managing time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoopHole

^^^^ I am fully aware of that. But seriously i do not even want to think about that right now. Not sure how your life was at 19 but my life is seriously nothing but stress. And it doesn't help that i am the type of person who does nothing but think about stuff. I really do wish i could be a kid again.

C.Japschin · #22 03-02-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by lightmaria

Business..Well I'm actually undeclared right now but I'm prolly gonna do business or teaching not sure.

I wish I am 19 like you and I get to choose to do the right degree. I'm back to school for the 3rd time, deciding if I want to do a Masters or professional certification.

If you do business, do a concentration in accounting. Every firm, big or small, needs at least 1 accountant.
I'm not biased against other concentrations, I'm just speaking from experience.
I have the worst luck among everyone I know in jobs/bosses. I graduated with a Finance degree at the time when the financial world was in chaos and only laying off people. I never had a chance to work in one or do any internships. Even though I went for couple of entry level interviews at banks and investment firms last year, I was slapped with 'useless' degree by interviewers since I had no experience.

Be happy that you are 19 when you can make a lot of mistakes and start all over again. I want to be a doctor but too late for me now and I don't want to be in debt for that education because by the time i finish, I'll be 3/4 in my grave.

Use Eb as a part-time business solution because Eb's every changing policies are just making it more and more difficult for sellers as time goes by.
Find part-time jobs/internships/volunteer work in fields you are interested in and see if you like them.

Hang in there!