Fun Times with Customer Concerns

#1 06-30-2009

Submitted for your entertainment/edumacation:

Here's just one recent example of many hilarious exchanges of communication in regard to Customer Service issues between myself and buyers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by me

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: [redacted] this is me
Date: Tue, May 12, 2009 at 1:02 PM
Subject: Re: Product details inquiry from Amazon customer [redacted]
To: [redacted]

You started it. I just keep it real. You lit up on me first, so I decided to give you the same, since that is how you roll.

My rule of sales is that the customer is hardly ever right. I'm always prepared to deliver facts and useful information because of that. And it has proven true over and over again.

How you could possibly expect me to send you something that Amazon never told me you wanted...

You are an idiot.

Find a bus. Step in front.

Quote:

Originally Posted by the twit

On Tue, May 12, 2009 at 12:50 PM, [redacted] wrote:

I am actually in shock that to a potential customer you would call me a "butt-buddie", "ass", and tell me to "lie in bed". The first rule of sales is, the customer is ALWAYS right- even when you don't think so. I don't want excuses, I wanted a product. You gave me an explanation I could care less about- I don't care what is happening in the companies, that's not my problem- that's yours for choosing to do business with them. I was wanting a product, it was not fulfilled. Period.

Quote:

Originally Posted by me

On Tue, May 12, 2009 at 11:21 AM, [redacted] wrote:

I was unaware that an order had been placed. I contacted Amazon about this, immediately after receiving and reading your email.

Amazon cancelled the order without notifiying either of us. There is currently no viewable record in existence, only Amazon's statement that they took the initiative to make the cancellation. No reason why. No explanation at all.

Had you or I cancelled your order, you would have received an automatic email. Only Amazon can cancel an order and bury the evidence.

Personally, at this point I would say even worse about you that you would about us. You never even asked us first to see what the situation was or might have been.

If your order had been placed with us and Amazon put the order through, it would have arrived anywhere in the US within 3 days. Had you ordered the same thing from your Amazon butt-budies, you'd still be waiting. Their system is quite flawed. It seems they have been trying to fill seller orders themselves (stealing the business) and failing quite a lot. Many times, they haven't been able to obtain suppliers after the attempt. Thus, no inventory to meet the expectation. After a week or so, they have to bury the order. They can't hand it to the original seller they stole the order from, so they just let the buyers forget it or complain to the victim of the order-theft.

Amazon will tell you we sellers are crooks or scam artists. I'll give you my login details to see the seller panel for yourself. No record of your order. I can show you another dozen emails with the same problem you mention (you've been the only ass so far) and you can verify that no order notification ever existed, compared against my entire past history which still displays customer and seller cancellations still on the record from a few years ago.

Amazon's attemtps to steal business (proven) are completely purged from the system by Amazon now, to destroy evidence. They are making it difficult for legal action to be filed against them.

Do a web search and see what Amazon has been up to since the beginning of last year, then go lie in bed with them. You seem to fit their new pardigm quite well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amazon

On Tue, May 12, 2009 at 10:35 AM, Amazon Communication Center <commmgr-autoreply@amazon.com> wrote:

Hello from Amazon.com.

A potential buyer has sent you the following message about an item you have for sale on Amazon.com, or about your store at Amazon.com. Please respond to the individual directly by replying to this e-mail. For your reference, the buyer's e-mail address is [redacted].

Important Notice: Only ship to the address shown in your seller account. Do not honor buyer requests to ship orders to any address other than the one provided by Amazon.com. Do not accept any payment method other than Amazon Payments. Payment for the sale may be withheld if these guidelines are not followed.

-------------- Begin message ---------------------

I ordered the [redacted] from you and realized it has been over two weeks since I ordered. I called Amazon today and they told me the order was CANCELLED. I received no phone call, email, nothing- if I hadn't called myself I would have never been informed and would have just been waiting. I have ordered many products from Amazon and other sellers with always a positive experience. YOUR COMPANY is very disappointing and I would not recommend anyone buying a product from you due to the lack of customer service! UNACCEPTABLE!

-------------- End message ------------------------

Notice: Amazon.com may retain copies of all forwarded e-mails, and takes no responsibility and assumes no liability for the content of any messages forwarded to you.

Amazon.com will never e-mail you and ask you to disclose or verify your Amazon.com password, credit card, or banking account number. If you receive a suspicious e-mail with a link to update your account information, do not click on the link--instead report the e-mail to Amazon.com for investigation. Go to amazon.com/phish to find out more.

**aspkin** · #2 06-30-2009

Lol Vicvelcro has bad customer service.

My response would have been two sentences..

Sorry I did not get your order. If you would like to try again, go here.

And based on their response I would continue on or press the delete button.

#3 06-30-2009

I must be the only person on the entire planet who considers this type of communication to be FREE ENTERTAINMENT.

**aspkin** · #4 06-30-2009

Lol, well if your goal was to make the customer laugh I think you failed on that.

It was funny for me though, thanks.

#5 06-30-2009

Of course. I am here but to serve... Bwa ha ha!

oompaloompa · #6 06-30-2009

you could have said you were a butt-buddie and you wanted to visit him, he might have gone away then..

#7 06-30-2009

Where were you when I needed you?

I think just for pschitz and giggles, whenever I get a hostile freak in the future, I'll post here and we can all powwow on good responses, then we vote, and then I'll post our collective reply back to the eBayiot. Sounds like a real party, eh?

Ok, somebody else's turn. Post up a difficult but funny Customer Service FAIL. A real one, not dressed up and embellished, please.

**aspkin** · #8 06-30-2009

I'm nice to all my customers for the most part.

Though I find eBay customers pretty easy to get mad at.

#9 06-30-2009

My SOP is to follow however and wherever they lead and go one step farther. If they start out civilized, I respond in a manner most urbane. It they turn on me or start out nasty, I jump in both feet first and slap them with 14 inches of limpness with a quickness.

If they were courteous and professional throughout, at the end they get what they want and *I* thank *them* for bringing their concern to my attention and allowing me the opportunity to accept their burden.

If it ends with them being nasty, I close by inviting them to turn their back toward me, bend over and get paid. C YA!

My thing is that the customer in fact is almost never right. If customers WERE always right, then they wouldn't have a problem needing me or you to resolve for them. Thus, I obviously am capable (at least in their mind) of achieving something they cannot provide for themself. I don't mind doing so. I expect things to come up, and try to be prepared with a solution while at the same time expecting that it will require more from me than would be normal and reasonable. So be it, I'm ok with that.

But I refuse to let anybody ever think for more than a split second that they can intimidate or bully a positive outcome from me. It simply will not happen. If I have something you want, you'd better make me think I'm your best pal or at least your friend. If I don't like you, you've got a problem bigger than you can find a solution for. If I like you, you can have anything you ask from me, except maybe me Reece's Peanut Butter Cups.

**aspkin** · #10 06-30-2009

See I was the same way when I first starting doing business online.

After awhile though I realized customers paid me. They paid me for an item they wanted, knowledge or whatever.

If they were rude, which rarely happens, then I try and solve the issue.

I was actually kind of upset at a seller earlier today for sending me a ****ty product. But as crafty as I am I had my money back in less then 5 minutes after the guy refused to refund me.

He had bad customer service and lost out because of it. Now I'll go out of my way and leaving him a bad feedback... which I wasn't going to do before.

Oh well, maybe this guy will learn the customer is always right.

Maybe I just don't have many negative experiences with customers vicvelcro..

Lol.. oh yeah I remember a couple instances.. I ignored them because they were wrong.

Lol..

JohnnyBoy · #11 06-30-2009

I'm going to call a buyer on eBay a butt buddie one day. Not my butt buddie, but someone elses. Maybe donahue

#12 06-30-2009

JohnnyBoy,

You do that. Please. And when you do, just tell 'em you know me. That would make it just too funny.